Tuesday, May 17, 2005

and now for something completely different.

In honor of our 100th post here on Tonto's Reviews. Tonto's Reviews, where we bring you the semi-latest reviews done by the REVIEW OF THE DAY!! winning music critics Tonto & Savalas. In honor of hour 100th review, we thought we'd bring you something different. The Blue Falcon knows, I'd want something different after wading through this many crappy ass reviews.

So, we're bringing someone else's reviewing into this. Damien Lucas is a name that pops up all the time in reviews of our music. Purely for your amusement, I will go find all of his reviews of Tonto Savalas and present them here. Totally without his consent! HA! Take that Damien Lucas! I'll bet you sniff bicycle seats!

Here, Is Damien Lucas on Tonto Savalas:


...On Suicide Me...

Fine Piano Work on introduction...

Man, i don't know what to think really...

I can't undertand the words so i can't respond to the lyrics.

Nothing besides voice and piano? Well, the piano is splendid and the best thing you have working for you. It's delicate, nicely recorded and shows exceptional talent in the ebony and ivory department.

Now abotu those vocals or lack thereof. It sounds liek you're making a joke really. Never on key at all that i could hear and hard to make out words or the language you're speaking. Weird to say the least.

Overall production is B-.
- damien lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 10Apr2005

...on Billy the Killer...

Opening almost sounded like Native Chants......

Acoustic Guitar is cool...what the hell? Weird howls and screams... In unison with each other...

Ween is coming out here in fumes...

Reaks of the Green Jelly curse upon men...

This is definitely Experimental Rock in its highest form...

Hehe this is fun as hell...I have to listen to every bit of it...

Coo Coo Coo Coo
- damien lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 4May2005

...on Nico's Dead, Nico's Dead...

Bubbling Bass, Distorted Amp Face, Killer Ech..

Uh...this starts out a little monotonous...Feedback is pretty cool but this get's old after over a minute of nothing but feedback from the amp...

Weird vocals. Reminds me of Charles Manson's song "Feelings Begin To Growing". This helps because I like Manson's stuff...

Cool guitar licks in the middle of the track.

Bass is thumping pretty smooth on my system...After all of the feedback, the song is better...

If I were you, I'd try to at least get a little bit of change or dynamics going on with this. Experimental is ok but really experiment. Get creative. Playing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and ov er is not experimental, it's annoying. You have potential though... I'll be watching for newer material inthe future...

OK...2 outta 5
- damien lucas from Valliant, Oklahoma on 17May2005


Ok, so that was only three reviews. So sue me. Bitches.

Monday, May 02, 2005

100th Review Celebration!

We're celebrating the posting of our 100th review hear at Tonto's Reviews. It's a small party, but packed with the kind of goodness you can only get in a small, intimate setting. Ok, so there's no party, but I'm imagining a really wild party with lots of naked girls and a big cloud of blueish smoke that comes rolling out of the back room when ever the door opens.

100th review! Woo-hoo! And we're not even halfway to be being current! Crap.

Review #100

Review of girl in the rain by 9 poppyland dream
Genre: Alternative Pop 2.1

..and before him the world laid itself bare

7 seconds of tape hiss does not an into make. Clean it up.

Sounds a bit like Frusciante. Not bad. Guitar and vocals are a bit plain to carry this song through it's 4 minute length.

No change of any kind throughout this song. What you have here is not a song you want to put up for review, it's an idea that you want to build into a song later. Drums, bass, casio keyboard, organ, handclaps, whistling, your mother yelling at you, dogs barking, your zipper. These are all things that could be added to this song.

That idea is a decent one. The guitar line is good, the singing is a little sloppy, but it's nothing that another take or two couldn't fix.

Let's make a fun list.
1. What did you record this on? A boombox. Tons of tape hiss.
2. Four minutes of the same thing.

Screw the list.

Overall, you've got a good start, but it's not a full song yet.

- tontosavalas
March 30th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #99

Review of Combustible You by Joe Black
Genre: Alternative Pop 3.0

Hardly an hour goes by that an hour doesn't go by.

When I heard the lyric, 'just remember, for better or worse, you exploded first,' I had high hopes. Maybe this song was about people really blowing up. No. Just a chick with a temper. Still, it's a decent chorus line and it got me listening.

Vocals are the focal point in this song and they aren't bad. Guys got a decent voice, but he's doing an unmemorable style. I hear a lot of songs that use the same little flourishes and phrasings.

Guitar lines are predictable, but of decent quality. The main part gets repetetive pretty quick.

Mix is good, I can hear everything. That's nice.

There's nothing in here to break up the song and, consequently, my attention fades as the song goes on.

Overall, it's a pleasant tune that does nothing to seperate itself from the crowd.

- tontosavalas
March 30th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #98

Review of To Be Down Is To Be In With The In Crowd by The Mercury Stars
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.7

voluntary bifurcation is a little extreme.

Thanks for kickin' it right off the bat. I appreciate that.

That said, you don't have much going on here. My favorite part of this song is the slow gurgling outro, but it's only a 3 minute song and you spend 30 seconds fading out.

Let's talk about the 2 and 1/2 minutes of song we're left with. I can hear one guitar clearly and I like what it's doing, but the other one I'm not hearing clearly and it sounds like something interesting is going on there. Play with the mix a bit.

O.k that was 'Turning Japanes' right at the end there, wasn't it?

Vocals are getting the job done, but aren't really that exciting. Smoke a lot of unfiltered cigarrettes, start drinking straight whiskey and stay up for 72 hours straight, then record the vocal again.

Overall, sounds like you've got the groundwork done for a good song, but there's not enough in here to really be exciting. Nothing experimental, either. I'd suggest the indie rock category for this one. It's straight forward and you're probably going to get marked done by all the weirdos (like me!) that review in Exp. rock.

- tontosavalas
March 30th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #97

Review of tell me I am your very best friend by probity
Genre: Experimental Rock 2.0

I'm color blind and traffic lights confuse me.

Wow, the guitar has a nice sound to it. Plays around a bit much without some more going on in the music to keep it grounded.

Vocals. I'm going to moderate my statements. Very monotone. No emotion in the delivery. Might be better if dissolved a bit into the background. Might be something there in the lyrics. Some of the individual lines I caught were interesting, but the chorus didn't get it's hooks in me at all.

Pull the bass up in the mix to fill out the sonic landscape and give the guitar something besides the percussion to play off of.

Overall, great guitar blaster that doesn't come off nearly so well as a song. On the plus side, this song cruised by for having a length of 4:52.

Extra Credit: Guitars.

- tontosavalas
March 30th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #96

Review of BeKind by The Mercury Stars
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.7

Amuse me with your grapefruit

This is a really decent song with a lot of nice touches. The occasional doubling of the vocal/backup. The (synth?) horns.

The fuzz intro is good, but I'd like to hear a little more of it throughout the rest of the song. If I have any complaint about this song, it's that it's not really all that experimental.

The vocalist does a great job carrying the song. It sounds to me like he's really on the way to having his own style. The horns do a good job of filling in and breaking things up in the vocal breaks.

Lyrics are good as well, I'm hearing a song that's about something, specifically about a girl who 'sits alone convinced that Jesus Christ might be the answer'.

Mix is good, but there's a couple of sounds in this song that sound like they are buried too far into one channel. Try moving this stuff around occasionally. Make my head spin.

Overall, good song and I'd listen to it again. Maybe not as experimental as I'd like, but still excellent work.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals.

- tontosavalas
March 30th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #95

Review of Tonight, Share this love by The Galaxy 6
Genre: Experimental Rock 2.7

Tonight, share this spliff. Now, that's love, baby!

Intro was maybe a bit too long. I write that about a lot of songs. It's reasonably pretty, but the song gets a lot more interesting once the vocals kick in.

Percussion is stomping over the same territory for 3/4 of this song. It's a good beat, but break it up a little.

Piano is sparse and fits in the with the song well. You're trying out a lot of effects on this one and I like the playing around, but there's a high-pitched tone that comes up at about 2:30 that increases in volume and lasts way too long. Very hard to listen to.

Vocals are decent, delivered in a bit of a monotone. The vocalist has to act as a tour guide through a song and this guy sounds a bit bored with the job. Spice it up. Feel free to scream. Lyrics are bit cliche driven.

Overall, nice little ditty that I only have minor complaints with. Sets a nice understated mood. Get rid of that piercing feedback sound, it really had me gritting my teeth.

- tontosavalas
March 30th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #94

Review of Sailin' Away by Buck-O-Nine
Genre: Reggae 3.4

Where's The Gosh Darn Ska Category

Honestly a little more ska than I was expecting, but they don't have your category so what can you do. As a reggae song it just don't cut it, but as a ska song, this is really good stuff. The horns sound good, but I would actually like to hear them tossed in a little bit more. The singer has a quality voice, a little more lyrical depth would be nice. The drums, guitar, and bass complement each other beautifully. The arrangement and mix leave very little to be desired, this is a quality track. Now all we have to do is get them to start a ska category.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Melody.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #93

Review of Da De Da by GypsyFoot
Genre: Reggae 3.7

Do elephants really have good memorys?
A little slight on the lyrical depth, but that's not completely unusual for a reggae song. The guitar interplay with the bass keeps the song moving nicely, I also enjoyed the stereophonic guitars. The keyboards/piano is good, but could come up a little bit in the mix. The singer has a very soothing voice in a sing-song sorta way. I really could do with a little bit more in the way of lyrics, but this song is real good and has a great mood to it.

Extra Credit: Melody, Mood.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #92

Review of Communication by Military Junior
Genre: Indie Rock 3.7

Rebelious otters in heat

Drums are really good and fit the song well. Might be what I am liking most about this song. Yeah, I'm at the end of the song now, and we never got off the one thing you were doing for the entire song.

I actually liked what you're doing. Bass, guitars, everything. The vocals are all right, if maybe a bit lackluster.

By the end of the song, though, I'm convinced that I've heard this song before, just can't think of the name of it. That's gonna bug me, now.

Overall, no props for originality. What you were doing sounded good, but I'd really like you to do something else in there to break it up.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #91

Review of Ionas Sun by Metric Noise
Genre: Indie Rock 3.5

Richard Richard Richard Richard Richard

I wish I dug this more. The guitar and drums really create a raw and abrasive sonic texture. It drives and it doesn't let up. I like it.

This song's downfall is exactly those same quality. My ears are raw 2 minutes into this one. It does not let up. Give me some fat, full bass tones or a good clean organ sound to balance out the song.

If you could pop a really good, hooky melody on top of this music, you've got a real winner.

Not crazy about the vocals, it has a tendency to dip into Tears for Fears Territory when I want Sid Viscious stylings.

Overall, I want to like this song more than I do. Lots of potential here.

Extra Credit: Beat, Most Rocking Track.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #90

Review of How to make Babies by F N Clown
Genre: Comedy 4.0

I Love You Too, Mr. Clown

I've reviewed a couple of comedy songs, this was at least 10,000 times better than any that I've heard, so you may want to try this over there, too. As for it's quality as a folk song, well let's see, good quality folk guitar playing, good singing voice, and the lyrics are completely engaging. So it works on the folk level too. Now I can get into the lyrics, "between your sweet momma's legs" is when the lyrics start getting real good. "But it's lotsa fun putting my sperm there", it's so funny because it's so true. I really could go on and on about every line of this song, but it deserves the justice of you listening to it for yourself. Great song man, 5 stars all the way.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Lyrics, Originality, Best Feel Good Track.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #89

Review of Dinosaurs by BEN MANUEL
Genre: Folk Rock 3.8

Summer Day

The vocals are really intrigueing, they sound like a mix of a young Willie Nelson and Arlo Guthrie, the acoustic guitar is stellar, this sounds like some real good summertime porch sitting music. Ok there's a sound around 3:45 that I can't figure out, over the speakers it kinda sounds like water running, which fits in with the lyrics and would be nice, if it didn't sound as annoying with headphones on. If you're going for the water sound, do some field recording of a stream or just snatch it off a sound effects disc. Otherwise, and that really is a minor complaint, this song sounds great. Oh yeah, I wanted to mention the lyrics, they contain some great imagery that really takes you to a special place, and you gotta love the hook line of, "That's What The Dinosaurs Would Say". The song takes me to a summer day. And I thank you.

Extra Credit: Guitars, Lyrics, Melody, Mood, Best Feel Good Track.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #88

Review of Rock 'n' drums by Edwin Russell
Genre: Experimental Rock 2.2

1:03, I Like It Already

Wow, this is going to be tougher than I thought, there's not a whole lot there. The lead guitar sounds good, I like the effect on it, but it's gone before you even get to know it. I can say almost the same thing for the organ, although I liked the organ a little better. The percussion sounds okay (C average), but would be greatly helped by it being real drums and such. It's a decent start but there really isn't much there, I like a short song but this isn't really a song, it's a couple of instruments tossed on top of a drum beat. Take it further.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #87

Review of I'm sorry you have the wrong number by Twisted Titty and the Pay Phones
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.3

I gotta compare 11:06 to 1:03

This is experimental music! I gotta start right off by saying this is kinda boring to me. I like lyrics and there really aren't much. The instrumentation sounds good but it's so laid back I want to take a nap. This isn't to say that I don't like it, it's got a good soundtrack quality to it. The only problem with a soundtrack is that it's got a movie to keep your interest this doesn't. You use a lot of interesting noises, and the drums keep the song choo-choo-choogoling along, the guitar isn't much but it does sound pretty when it's there. I was at least hoping for some big freakout jam at the end, the song keeps building but it never goes anywhere. I'm sorry guys I just don't get it. Cut it in half and go somewhere with it.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #86

Review of Tied by Tide by Riley Godleski
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.3

Experimental Rock at it's most experimental

Now this is what I call experimental. I'm not sure if I like this song, I'm not sure if it's good, but I love the fact that you're trying something different. Okay what do I hear in here? The bass sounds real good, good quality and rhythm. Is that some old casio keyboard I hear producing noise, whatever it is it sounds good. The drums? got a good change machine quality to them. The singing is of a good quality, restrained yet crazy. Know here's what I would like added, a slight effect on the vocals, maybe a little flange that only hits on the high notes, and maybe a little guitar with some freaked out whammy bar action, just my thoughts. Overall I really dig this tune, good job guys.

Extra Credit: Bass, Production, Originality.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #85

Review of What's In The Barn by Celest (SE)
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.4

Dungucurish-dunguchurish

Swing music for acid casualties! Let's start with the music on this. The instrumentation is great, drums perfect on every beat, synths rockin out throughout, is that a stand up bass i hear (if not sorry, i'm kinda stupid) just like all the instruments, it's played to perfection. As for the added noises here and there, the seem to fit in perfectly. You guys made a crazy song and really put some work into it, which tells me that you're crazy...I like that. The lead vocals/lyrics and voiceover are fittingly crazy, although I have absolutely no idea what your singing about, but still a song with lyrics is better than one without. I really dig the dark part around 2:20 but I would have liked to see it last longer. Overall you guys sound like a swing-jazz-insane version of They Might Be Giants, and as I liked them, I also like you.

Extra Credit: Drums, Bass, Production, Originality.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #84

Review of Perfect People by Knight's Past
Genre: Pop Rock 2.1

Cormorants are birds. Big Honkin Birds.

The last song was so quiet and I had the volume up waaaayyyy too loud. Ouch.

I could really go for a more full drumbeat to balance out the high guitar. Maybe some bass type noise. Wait, there is a bass, I think, but I can barely hear it.

Ok, turn the guitar down, bass up and maybe mix the vocals down a bit.

The guitar. I thought the note bending sounded neat for a while in this song, but as it wears on and the guitar is still fluttering around... it gets a little tiresome.

Vocals are fine (if a bit up in the mix). Not great, but what you are doing is fine. Background vocals don't do a lot for me, either, and I'm usually a sucker for girly sounds.

Lyrically, you're making observations, general ones. On the trite side. Try bringing the subject matter down to a more personal level.

Overall, the elements don't add up for this one. I'm not sure what mood you're going for, but the the mood I'm in is impatient.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #83

Review of The Other Side by The Elastic Band
Genre: Pop Rock 2.5

Hedonism as a way of life.

Cut the intro, it's really fractured and sounds amateurish.

Vocals need to come up in the mix a bit. Guys doing the Dylan and not too badly at that. Lyrically, I get that you're trying to make a point, but you're walking the 'preachy' line. On second thought, you crossed the line. Tone down the rhetoric a bit. I'd like to hear the singer in a much more energetic song.

Drumming is a little uninspired. Is it me or is this song just slow? It's a pretty standard rocker, but really lethargic.

Musically, I'm not inspired listening to this. Everything (except the vocals) is down the line standard.

Overall, slow and dull. This song needs energy from somewhere and it's not getting any. Turn your amp to 11.

Cut the outro, too.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #82

Review of Teidium by LeRoy Smiley
Genre: Pop Rock 2.6

Regale me with tales of your country, foreigner!

Melodrama is the word I've been waiting to pop into my head.

I've used many different keyboards, a lot of them cheap and terrible sounding. The key to using them successfully is effects. Put some effects on these keys, cuz they are cheesy sounding as they stand now.

The vocalist doesn't have a bad sound to his voice, but the style is a bit grating (see melodrama above). A little work on the pacing of the lyrics wouldn't hurt, either.

Overall, if you did this at home with a keyboard and and a 4-track, not bad. Still, piano music is always just a step away from cheese, so be careful!

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #81

Review of Lose Myself by Jeremy Huddleston
Genre: Pop Rock 2.1

Distance is a good thing.

Since you asked, the drums sound flat to me, especially the cymbals. Work on your cymbalism. As far as the playing of said percussion, not bad, but if it's supposed to be a focal part of the song...

I swear I thought you guys were going to break into 'Boys of Summer' at the beginning of this tune.

Is this a christianity type song?
Praise in the guise of rock music?
Oh man, this is against my religion. I have to stop listening now.

Overall, kinda bland. The problem with reviewing songs that you find bland is that nothing really grabs you and says, 'write about this part!' My advice is to let loose and jam. See if anything interesting pops up.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 5 (unfair! It's them religious folk puttin me down!)

Publisher's Note: Mr. Huddleston did send me a nice note thanking me for my review and questioning where I would likely end up residing in the afterlife. Unfortunately, I deleted the note and cannot present it to you in it's full glory.

Review #80

Review of THE BIBLE&THE BOTTLE by JOE AND DAVE
Genre: Country 4.0

Cruisin' in the car

You sound a little like the Allman Brothers. This was a good song but towards the 3 minute mark I started to lose interest. The beat just stayed in the same tone and nothing kept my attention on the song. It was a song I can just cruise in my car and listen to till it was done. Good performance overall, you guys sound tight. Vocals were nice and in tune especially when both guys were singing. That's always a plus! But the song should have probably ended a minute earlier for it to be better.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #79

Review of Long Night by Rich Kubicz
Genre: Country 3.7

Nice little beat

Starts off with a nice little beat. The lead vocals sound kinda dry, you need to put a little more emotion into it. The piano playing sounds real good, although maybe you're trying to do too much with it. Doesn't really sound like a "country", maybe a little more bluegrass, but I guess they don't have that category, so hey it's cool with me man. I like the hook but it could use a little more strength. It's a really good song, just a little more emotion out of the singer.

Extra Credit: Lyrics, Beat.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #78

Review of Mike&Betty by Calhoun
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.2

Nonsense is often valuable.

The vocals really caught my ear. I hope people are not calling this rap because of the speedy delivery. I'd like to hear more, though; lyrically and as far as quantity goes. Sparse as they are, they're more of an accent to the song. The background nonsense vocals were a surprise and made me smile.

Keyboards do have a nice warm sound and I like the groove. The change gets a bit jazzy for my tastes without a lot of backup to hold it in rock territory, but that's just my tastes.

The arrangement is strangely circular with triangular meteors flying off at random points on tangential axes, often in cone-shaped parabolas.

Overall, A good little groove. Can't get past the feeling that this one could be improved by adding something more to it, another change, something.

Extra Credit: Keyboards.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #77

Review of Delvis' Dream by Sex and Machines
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.8

Samoan men, Samoan women. dey all phat.

Good dirty sound to start off this one. I'd like it even more muddy, I think.

Good crazy in the vocals. Is there bad crazy? Well, there is Michael Jackson. But, this is good crazy! No suggestions on this because you are doing your own thing and doing it well.

Short song. It does a lot during it's time here in my ears. There's probably enough ideas for three or four different songs in this two minute track.

Overall, this one is like a sampler platter. I had a wide variety of things to enjoy, but they all ran out too quickly.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #76

Review of I dont believe in anything by Amazing Nuns
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.1

I really want my own pyramid.

The whole song sounds a bit muted. It could really use a remix. Still listenable, though.

Right off the bat, I get the impression that this is more of a good start for a song than a song on it's own. So, I guess we're talking about the arrangement. The backbone of this song is there.
The piano line and bass set up a nice tune. There's a change-up about 2 minutes in, but the song's only 3 minutes long and you only come back to the main theme for a few seconds right at the end. It's not enough to tie everything together.

That said, I dug the song. The vocals are understated and repetetive in a good way. The singer isn't trying to carry the song. Givin' his homeys they props while they lick on they chops.

There's some real nice touches in here. The guitar line that comes in straight from the '50's and the pounding too loud bass near the end are both first class

Overall, I enjoyed this song a lot, flaws and all. I'd love to hear this song again with another minute tacked on and a good mix.

Extra Credit: Mood.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #75

Review of The Old One by edible god
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.0

I find commonplace things to be shocking.

Ok, first thing that catches my ear are the vocals. He spends a lot of time in this song sounding a bit constipated and I'm just waiting for him to really let go and belt something out. I need to be careful what I wish for. He does belt out a few lines and they are jarring. Seriously. Is there a middle ground somewhere? Please?

Mix is a bit off to my ear. The high end needs to come down. Cymbals sound real bad at points.

The song starts right at the beginning. No intro. Kudos. I'm getting really sick of the intros.

Both the guitars are interesting. I like the jangly one.

Overall, the vocals were a killer on this one. Really distracting. A better mix would help out enormously.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #74

Review of Now by Kiff Gallagher (Chris Ghallagher)
Genre: Power Pop 5.0

Boyz II Mensches

The intro is always a good place to start. It sounds a bit like the Peanuts theme and the high end notes are a bit choppy, really taking away from the groove trying to set itself up here. The less is more approach might help here.

The lyrics are replete with Usherisms. This is transplanted RnB and I'm not sure it's working. The song sounds a lot more honest when the faux funk guitar line drops out at around 1:50.

The arrangement is quite good. I like the return to the intro piano line. I'm hearing a lot of bands that don't tie the intro into the rest of the song. The different sections of this song are quite distinct, but still tied in to the song as a whole.

Performance is good as well, the band is playing tight and everyone is hitting their marks. The vocalist does a good job with this material, but he's really putting himself in front of the firing squad with the RnB elements. They don't come off.

Overall, this is a brave attempt at crossing genres, but it doesn't quite make the leap. Interesting try.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #73

Review of Show Me by Under the Sun (UK)
Genre: Power Pop 2.5

Soma for the closet bound

Ooh. Oh. Ahh. Ok, this song has a nice airy quality to it, but not a lot to back it up.

The vocals. I can't say I like them. At 5:37 for the track length, you've already got a good, long song going on. The dragged out lines and the breathy qualities are not endearing and they tend to make the song feel even longer. The doubling of the vocals early on in the song was a really good effect, though. I would like to hear more of that throughout this one.

What's that metallic moracca sound? It's faintly annoying and out of place when it pops up. Honestly, I'd drop it or find a substitute.

Lyrically, I'm getting schmaltzy love song vibes. Which is fine if that's what you're going for. It doesn't sound like you're even trying to say anything, though.

Overall, I didn't dig this one. I found the song as a whole just uninteresting and a more than a bit long for the ideas it was coming across with.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #72

Review of preliminary X Axis, Y Axis by Atomisk City
Genre: Experimental Rock 2.4

It makes me kinda sad

Okay, it sounds like there are some lyrics in there but i can't really hear them. To start with I would like the song better if I could hear the singing. I really like the lead guitar line it's what gives the song it's sad feel. The bass line is passable, the drums were decent, it sounds like you guys need a little work to tighten things up a bit. There are some flubs here and there, and you guys seem like you're working on your own parts, rather than working together. I really like the feel of the song alot, especially when you get kinda crazy. Fix the vocals, practice a bit more, and you'll have a winner.

Extra Credit: Mood.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #71

Review of frustration three by Yes We're NOPE
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.3

Son of Sam killed because a dog told him to

God I wish you guys had vocals, the things that I'm going to criticize might not even be an issue if there was something over them. I don't like the intro part, it becomes a little to monotonous, it does make for a nice change of pace when you start rockin, but then you go back, and I have to wait until almost two minutes in for you guys to really start rockin. The bass sounds good, although you might be trying to do too much with it. I like the rhythm guitar too, all of it sounds real good, you're just making the listener focus too much on the music by not giving us vocals, and I'm sorry but it just isn't that compelling. Good quality, just not enough.

Extra Credit: Production.

- tontosavalas
March 29th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Review #70

Review of Give Me My Money, Jere by The Gas
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.7

Crazy Simpsons is best Simpsons.

Surf's Up. Maybe you held the surf up a little too long before changing up. Maybe not, but I'm right, goshdarnit!

Wow. What the tarnation is that messed up noise calling itself a voice. I don't know that I love it, (the song ended and I immedialy hit repeat) but it was fun as hell to listen to. And the song seems to be a character portrait of a loser.

He didn't smile smile when he shot up dope.

That tells me a lot about this guy. There's more nuggets of personality overflowing in the lyrics. I do not want to be the man in these lyrics.

The ball-tucking vocals and the punch of the guitars combine for a one-two punch of... punk energy.

There's another guitar that comes in with a total change-up of the music. It adds a really good groove; the kinda groove that I want to hear in a rock song.

Overall, I've got my tongue buried real far up the proverbial caboose, don't I? I do tend to give out some negative reviews, though, so once in a while it feels good to find a lot of positive aspects to a song. Oh, yea! I'm gettin' all Flanders! Googly!

Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Guitars, Melody, Originality, Most Rocking Track.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #69

Review of Seventeen by ex masheena
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.4

As a child, Bela slapped you on the hiney.

This is the second song after a heartfelt 5 star review. You're in a world of hurt and I haven't even hit play yet! Woo Hoo!

Not bad. I dig the droning guitars and the slow beat. This sounds a lot like what I always wanted goth music to be. You know, before I ever heard goth music. I don't listen to goth music.

I would have liked to hear something more in this song, though. Some breaks or swells. A little melody thrown in here or there.

Vocals started to lose their luster after a while, too.

Overall, a really good song in an album context, but maybe not a single, which is the way I'm listening to it. Kudos.

Extra Credit: Guitars, Originality.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 6 (unfair!)

Review #68

Review of (She Wore) Blistering Pearls by mudbug
Genre: Alternative Pop 3.9

I got called a crackhead today.

The vocals strike me as a bit like Pavement. I like them, especially the little flourishes he occasionally throws in.

Now, there's a repetetive, droning synth sound in this song. This can be the death of many songs, but here it is used well. It's the backbone of this song, the gravity well that everything else revolves around. The band points you right at it in the intro and doesn't let up. At one point the drums fall into it and pound right along as the rest of the instruments fade out. Excellent. I especially like the end, where the sound starts to fracture.

The song changes up a few times, always a plus in my book. Not too much to pick apart in this song. I don't hear the bass almost at all throughout the song.

Overall, rockin song that I enjoyed listening to. There might be a few issues in the mix, but I'd have to listen under much better circumstances to pick them out. Parker Posey has nothing on you guys.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Originality.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #67

Review of Release Me by Kevin Burdick
Genre: Alternative Pop 3.6

I have a salt fetish. You don't want to know.

Wow, does this song do some unexpected things. I'm not saying it's kinky or anything. The change-up at 1:05 was a total surprise and I'm not sure it was a good one. Is this a singer/songwriter or a modern hard rock tune? This put my head in a funk.

Vocalist has a pretty good voice, with a few hiccups in the performance. Nothing major.

A lot of what the instruments are doing sound like genre cliches. I don't hear a lot of personality from this band, other than the wacked out mix of things that are going on in here.

Overall, it sounds like you took a little of this and a little of that and put it all in a blender. Not a bad song, just one that leaves me with a furrowed brow and a lot of musical confusion.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #66

Review of I didnt belive it.... by SOB pariassound
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.5

Start, Stop, Start, Stop, Start, Stop, Start, Stop

I question your vocal talents, but I certainly know mine aren't much better, so we'll call it a wash. Try what I do sometimes and put some effects on them, maybe a slight bit of distortion. The guitar track is nice it drives the song. The drumming is solid. Musically speaking this is a good song. The instrumental breaks are a great change of pace, the first one with surf rock on crack sound and the second one with the pretty keyboard melody, they give the song loads more personality. Going back to the vocals, I like the yodeling, lets see more of that. It all kinda sounds like Suicidal Tendencies to me, good stuff.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Mood.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #65

Review of song of the day by probity
Genre: Experimental Rock 2.3

Song of the Day?

Where to start, I've listened to this three times already and I'm at a loss for words. Vocals are interesting not the proto-typical singer are you. The lyrics are excellent, nice and crazy weird like I like em. The instrumentation is good, nothing spectacular, but nothing to find fault in either. Maybe a little to pedestrian for the crazy lyrics, I wouldn't mind hearing some crazy effects on them. Actually I wouldn't mind hearing some effects on the vocals too. It's good stuff, just not good enough to be real good, and not crazy enough to be real crazy.

Extra Credit: Lyrics, Originality.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #64

Review of Coming down off the everything by St. Anthony'sFire
Genre: Experimental Rock 5.0

Where's the bass

A like the bass that starts off the song, but then it drops low into the mix. I don't know who you guys sound like, I know the style but not the bands. The chorus is good but I can't fully understand the lyrics. The lyrics that I do understand are really good, a little weird just like I like em. The song rocks but it still feels to restrained to me. The production on it is awesome though, I could see turning on my local radio and hearing this song. Good stuff overall.

Extra Credit: Production.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #63

Review of Fist Full of Love (Live) by The Black n Blues
Genre: Experimental Rock 2.1

It's not funny

A little live, with shoddy production. I can't hear much of the vocals, actually all I hear is guitar and a mysterious voice in the background, oh wait there the drums are, they sound like they're half a mile away. After saying all that I do need to mention I like the feel of the song, the problem is that the feel is like water that I am unable to hold. Give me a studio version I would really like to hear it. The guitar sounds good, drums are too low to be able to tell, same with the actual performance.

- tontosavalas

March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #62

Review of January by Project 1.9
Genre: Pop Rock 4.7

A couple of things comin' from my adenoids

I'm not going to say much about this guy's voice. I might like it, if it had some time to grow on me.

Drums are a little heavy in the mix. Pulling them back a little wouldn't hurt.

Performance is quite good. I have no doubt that these guys can play together.

Melody was... completely missed by this reviewer.

Overall, this song didn't do much to distinguish itself in my ears. Very passable, though.

- tontosavalas

March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #61

Review of FOR THE MOMENT by FRANK SILVER
Genre: Pop Rock 3.1

I'm a 10/12 rogue/wizard. rocks my socks.

Finally, a song that rocks.

The intro. What is it with the single instrument intros? It's not original and 9 times out of ten, doesn't really add much to any song. If it doesn't add something, cut it. It's really that easy.

Vocals are pretty good. The chorus is catchy and simple.

The guitars are rockin out. I don't hear anything that is making me stand up yell, "heee-haww!" Still, they get the job done.

Sound is good. Everything is mixed well.

Overall, not a bad little ditty.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 9

Monday, April 18, 2005

Review #60

Review of Flappin Gliders by katie Ate
Genre: Alternative Pop 2.7

Danger! Low voltage!

Mix is terrible. Drums are very heavy and right down the middle. Vocalist sounds muted. Bass is too far forward. Guitar and whatever else is there, well... I can barely hear them.

All of which makes it hard to say much about this one.

In fact, trying to hear things in this song is a frustrating experience. Ah! Some crowd noise. I thought this might be a live recording.

Give us a studio version to review. This one was unlistenable.


- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #59

Review of My Everything by Violaine
Genre: Alternative Pop 4.1

Tito Jackson? What is he doing here?

Intro's not bad. Didn't expect the main part of the song to sound like it did.

Main vocalist is already stretching notes, do we really need the backup? My ears get no chance to pause and distinguish what's going on vocally. Too crowded.

Is there a xylophone going on, I can barely hear it in this mix. Occasionally hearing it pop out from underneath the rest of the music does nothing but distract from the song.

Maybe too much going on here, altogether. I think whatever hook is in this song gets buried. There's a few swells in this song and, rather than adding power, it sounds like all the sounds are just fighting each other to be heard.

No real mood for this song. Really, I get nothing.

Overall, this one's a bit too dressed up, strip 'er down and I'd probably like it.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #58

Review of Sun Years by Scotland Barr and The Slow Drags
Genre: Folk Rock 3.9

Never trust a penguin. They like the cold.

I immediately like the light feel of this tune.

The clapping is good, muted enough to get by without being annoying, but does a good job holding the rythm for this song.

I really get an old-timey 50's vibe off the (is that guitar?) song at 1:38. Very cool. Also whistling. Nice.

Vocalist is very good. He's got that good storytellin groove going. He manages to sing a lot of words and not sound like he's trying to pack in more than the song can handle.

Guitar was hooky and everything worked together nicely to hold that light feeling.

Overall, really good song. I enjoyed listening to it a lot. If I happened on this band playing this tune on a streetcorner somewhere, I'd stop and listen.

Extra Credit: Mood, Best Feel Good Track.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #57

Review of Heart of Glass (swift and cool remix) by " JANAJANA "
Genre: Dance 3.7

Grays? Aliens are purple! You know that.

Standard dance groove that segues into some standard dance lyrics.

Song picks up a bit after 1:08 and the vocalist catches my interest then, but it quickly drops back into off the rack dance.

Song is way too sound effect happy with the glass crashing imitation and the other odd crap rolling around in here.

I really wish the vocalist would stay away from the la-da-dee schmaltz. It's tired. She was much more interesting with actual words .

Overall, I worked in a strip club for a few years and heard a ton of this type of song repeated endlessly.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #56

Review of In The Daytime by Bigfellas
Genre: Alternative Pop 3.5

I am never far from my mustard

The vocal track reminds me a bit of We Might be Giants. I did like your use of repetitious sounds in the words. Very cool. Any time the words 'restaurant' and 'savant' are rhymed, it brings a smile to my face.

The mix sounds pretty much right on, though the music does get a bit confused at about 1:55. The addition of that fuzzy instrument that I cannot identify really doesn't help the song out any.

Overall, an interesting laid back song that all of you working slobs can identify with. I consider myself part of the tanned and brown flip-flop brigade.

- tontosavalas
March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #55

Review of Johnny by JohnJolly
Genre: Alternative Pop 2.8

Erasers are the Devil's tool.

The first thing I have to comment on is the synth sounds. They sound a bit cheesy. It's an immediate detractor from the song as a whole.

Performance sounds spot on to me. Very well arranged.

The vocals don't fit the song very well, in my ever so humble opinion. Music is very energetic and the vocalist is stylin' a bit like he's singing a goth song.

The actual song might be better than I'm hearing. All the parts are well done, but don't come together well. The sum of the parts is not greater than the whole.

Overall, not bad, but not a real grabber.

- tontosavalas

March 28th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #54

Review of Cell by Jon Luther
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.7

Eye count I along with ewe

Unly with utmost reluctance do I dis this song. I'm groovin along and th- Yeah, just like that sentence, this song ended too soon. It's a slow groove, let it take it's time.

I like this intro. I had originally thought it was a bit too scattered and was getting primed to give my ever so humble opinion on that fact and gave it another listen. The instruments come together extremely well. And they take their time. It's all very purposeful.

Like I said, this one's a slow groove.

It's all about the light touch inside this song. There's prickling strings tickling my right ear and popping percussion in ny left.

The mood created hear complements the lyrics. "I'm stuck in a corner. I've got bad luck." Existential gloom, cats, it's heavy.

Which is why I'm left dazed and bewildered when this song ends. It sounds like you ran out of tape. And so have I.

Extra Credit: Lyrics, Mood, Originality, Most Rocking Track.

- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #53

Review of Aggregate Levels by Cedar Wright
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.1

My apologies to everyone but that guy.

Occasionally, purely for my own amusement, I don't actually review your song. Instead, I review whatever your song reminds me of.

What this song reminded me of was Jimi Hendrix. Specifically, the album Axis Bold as Love. Now, I think to myself, "Rob man, that's a really freaking good album!" But you know how it starts off, with that announcer all talkin' bout space and other things of a space-like nature? Even Hendrix doesn't pull that off so well.

Yes, even Jimi.


- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 4 (ouch)

Review #52

Review of Norm Al Mann by The Ellipses
Genre: Pop Punk 2.6

Walk under a ladder

Vocals are kinda plain when there is only one voice. I like the lyrics, they are good. Sounded a little cheesy for some reason when "walked under a ladder and now hes got bad luck" is said. Sounds like you are trying to fit to many words in not enough beats. Overall the song is okay.

Extra Credit: Originality.

- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #51

Review of Holiest of Holes by The Vegetables
Genre: Pop Punk 2.6

Whatever

For the production the sound goes in and out, very anoying. Also at the end, the feedback, OUCHHHH! For Lyrics, they are kinda hard to hear. For the vocal it sounds very good. the beat is a litle preppy but its okay overall.

- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #50

Review of Getti Up by Artistic Anarchists
Genre: Rap 3.3

Hop or Rap?

I like the song alot overall. I especially like the chorus. I dont like before the outro, where the vocal goes up in a higher pitch. Ocassionly the song sounds like hip hop not rap. Besides for those two things the song was good.

Extra Credit: Lyrics, Beat.

- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #49

Review of Party On People by E. G.
Genre: Rap 3.4

Got Game

Beging sounds a little like hip hop, but the rest of the song was fine.

I like the chorus a lot. The mood seemed pretty energetic. I didn't like the song saying "got game" in/after the chorus everytime gets a little anoying, overall the lyrics were fine. The rhythm was very good but might have been a little too happy.

Extra Credit: Lyrics, Melody, Beat.

- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 9

Review #48

Review of monumental by Lee Hester
Genre: Alternative Pop 3.9

Dad and Daughter Review

The beginning sounds like an Avril Lavigne song. But it passes quickly. I really like the uplifting and independent nature of the lyrical content. The vocals, guitar, drums, and bass all sound like professional quality. The level of the vocals especially in the second half of the song, are a little low.

Extra Credit: Lyrics, Mood.

- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #47

Review of Help Me Out by Seth Gray
Genre: Alternative Pop 3.7

Publisher's note: This song has been removed from garageband. You don't get to listen to it.

Happy Music, Sad Lyrics

I think that the chorus may be a little too bouncy, maybe a little more grit in the backing vocals here would help. The drum machine? is a little loud and it occasionally overpowers the lead vocals. I like the lyrics, the lost love angle is common, but your words to get there are original. After repeated listening the chorus fits better than I originally thought. Nice quick pop song.

Extra Credit: Lyrics.

- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #46

Review of Hydrate by Hoodooh
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.7

The Malaise of March

The guitar intro establishes the flow of the entire song, nice and laid back. The mix of the instruments is very nice, along with the doubling of the vocals. The lyrics have nice bits of depth thrown around a good hook. I could personally do without the guitar solo that takes up the last 2 minutes, it adds unneeded length. Maybe you could shorten it by a minute.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Beat.

- tontosavalas
March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #45

Review of Taco Thursday by Tres Gone
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.5

9:39

Wow 9:39 is kinda long for a song, but I'm just starting, maybe the length is justified. No I've listened to it all, there's no need for it to be this long. It's nice little jam that doesn't really go anywhere. The bass works good as the driving force of the song, the guitar adds nicely, understated and explicit. The drums are steady. It all sounds good, I would just prefer it tightened up to 3 to 5 minutes, and maybe add some vocals.

Extra Credit: Bass.

- tontosavalas

March 27th, 2005

Review Rating: 9

Review #44

Review of Here I Am by Richard May with Lisa Tingle
Genre: Pop 3.6

Today is no exception for Oscar.

Piano intro is a little choppy and the intro is, well, your introduction to the song.

The singer has a pretty good voice and her style is right on, but.. she says it quite well herself, "here I am, alone in a crowd." I'm not hearing anything in this song that makes it stand out from the crowd.

I want to hear more personality than I'm being offered here; musically, as well as vocally.

Overall, this is well done song, but it really doesn't have a hook. I'd like to hear you channel your inner Sally Field, stand up and shout, "you like me! You really like me!"

- tontosavalas

March 26th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #43

Review of Fairy Tale by Michael v. Young
Genre: Pop 3.3

Where's Bernie Taupin when you need him

The part of this song that really held my interest was the bubbly keyboard track.

That's the good part. Said keyboard track wasn't that interesting. This song could use a LOT more going on in it. As it stands, there's nothing about this song that doesn't scream Elton John at me.

The keys are well played, but as this song stands, they're just a frame for the lyrics which I found to be overblown and a little silly. The singer was trying way too hard to put emphasis and emotion into them, too.

Overall, I'm glad that this song was only 3 minutes long.

Extra Credit: Best Elevator Song.

- tontosavalas
March 26th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #42

Review of Stolen Kiss by Fiona Wallace
Genre: Pop Rock 3.3

Hot Hankies don't need no badges

This is a really well made song, from the opening guitar riff (which is a bit reminiscent of something of off OK Computer) to the second vocal that really adds a valuable counterpoint to the main.

I really enjoyed the main vocal. Her voice is husky/sexy and pretty in a good mixture, but never sounds self-indulgent. Seperation and mixing on the two vocals is well done.

The instrumentation doesn't change a lot over the course of this song, but the slow build and intro of the instruments really keeps this song musically interesting. The volume increase works similairly, giving this song some extra punch.

Overall, I liked it. I didn't think this song really showcased a lot of originality or personality, though.

Extra Credit: Female Vocals, Production.

- tontosavalas
March 26th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #41

Review of Picture Show - Redone by Rick McLaughlin & Company
Genre: Pop Rock 3.0

I still call them albums

I got a real Franz Ferdinand type vibe off this song immediately and it held on through out the song.

It's an enjoyable song, but I can't get the thought out of my head that a little more effort from the band really could have made the difference on this song. In the lyrics, for instance. There really isn't much substance there.

It's definitely hooky and feel good, but I get the point early on this one. The change at 1:15 is something that could have been played with or extended- or what have you- to add some more depth to this one, but it doesn't last very long at all and the band never returns to it.

Overall, a catchy toss off tune that's probably a crowd pleaser but might wear a bit thin on repeated listens. Spice it up.

- tontosavalas
March 26th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #40

Review of Princess of the Moon by Kandi Hart
Genre: Comedy 3.7

80's synth pop

The music takes me back to some 80's synth pop group that i can't remember right now. The vocals fit in completely with the style, if i close my ears to the lyrics it all fits perfectly, including the backing vocal. Which all helps to make the lyrics funnier than they actually are. The lyrics are funny in an ironic sort of way, but after the initial humor of a 80's synth pop chick singing about getting high, there isn't much but an 80's synth pop song. It's done well, but it's still 80's synth pop.

Extra Credit: Female Vocals.

- tontosavalas
March 26th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #39

Review of Crackhead by The Disemboweled Squirrels
Genre: Comedy 3.6

Crackhead

"He's such a crackhead," it's like you guys are singing about me, but i digress. Nice funky beat, the lead vocals are good, you sound like a mix between Eminem and a morning radio show host. The rhymes are solid, but I could go for a little more silliness in the lyrics. Decent outro but I was hoping for something funnier. It may not hurt to lose about a minute in the middle to tighten it all up. Overall I dug it.

Extra Credit: Beat.

- tontosavalas
March 26th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #38

Review of TidalWave by TitanCry
Genre: Experimental Rock 2.7

Flowing

You got a good flow, everything in the song builds and feeds of the next new element. The mood swings from low to high and back down a little. The drums build up nicely for the dramatic lead in of the guitar.

- tontosavalas
March 25th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #37

Review of Silent Blue Room by Andrei
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.4

The bass starts

The bass starts off a little too high, but only for the first 5 seconds and maybe that's what your shooting for. Not sure if I like the doubled vocals at about a minute in, but they only are there for those two lines. The lead guitar work is steady, not spectacular, but it fits the song nicely. The female backing/secondary vocals are a real nice touch, they add a nice flavor. The lead vocals are good, but I would like to hear a little more emotion in them. Overall I think this is real good song, the band rocks and the singing complements it nicely.

Extra Credit: Melody.

- tontosavalas

March 25th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #36

Review of IT EXPLODE! by Schizopolitans
Genre: Experimental Rock 4.0

I can't wait for sex robots.

This is the soundtrack to a robot molestation film, isn't it?

The vocals are immensely interesting, like David Byrne's husky uncle. I like hearing the voice used as a powerful instrument.

The industrial music is decent, I can enjoy it if I can forget the fact that I'm hearing a basic repetion all the way through most songs. That's a bit of my problem with all industrial music.

This song has a few of the elements that allow me to enjoy industrial. The underlying track was a fairly good one, though. The other elements of this tunage were interesting to listen to.

Good song, I enjoyed the experience.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals.

- tontosavalas
March 25th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #35

Review of Jammy Russian by ""Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" The Terrible Beauty Of (something)"
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.7

Oleg, you sly devil, you!

2:41 is a good length for this song. I'm glad I'm not wearing headphone right now, there's a couple things in there that sounded like they would've made me go all Dizzy Dean on your ass.

Not bad, you got the crazy happening all over the place and I like that. Bad keyboard sounds are really hard to hide, though. Running an effect or two over it wouldn't hurt.

You got your thing goin on, so roll on. And I do mean roll. On.

- tontosavalas
March 25th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Site Info

Some things are shaking in the Tonto and Buddha blog world. Your ever so humble publisher will be publishing under a different name from now on. So, for those of you worried that this signals a shift in management- have no fear. We're just doing a little pseudonym shuffling.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Review #34

Review of Hold On (ETM Version) by SilentAggression
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.3

These are short sentences for me.

Once the so-so piano opening ends, this breaks into a Frusciante toned (Fruscia?) song.

I really like ol' Frusheey and this is a really good cover thing. I'd probably put his disc on instead, cuz he's him and I don't know you from Moby. Except for the opening, didn't add much to the song.

The background vocals I'm fairly neutral about, they blend well but don't inspire.

Overall, this was a really decent song, though, and I enjoyed listening to it.

- tontosavalas

March 25th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #33

Review of Grass by WoodStone
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.3

This is what yer gramma said'd happen

Yo dudes, I'm really not feeling this one. Sounds like you're all pretty good at what you do, though.

We're jamming on a theme here. Oh, and I'm a bit of a vocal whore, as well, instrumentals tend to bore me.

Wait, this is not an instrumental? We're three minutes into a four minute song before you gimme any voice lovin? Never been a fan of that.

Sounded well rehearsed. Overall, nothing really grabbed me, but not a bad tune.

- tontosavalas
March 25th, 2005

Review Rating: 5

Review #32

Review of Sonic Youth Short Jam 3 by Icons of the Apocalypse
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.3

Back into Backwards

The song feels like it's going backwards, I like the mixture of the sounds. It starts off slow and builds into a fever-pitched crazyness. The bass sounds fine, it mixes nicely with the overall sound. But at the halfway point the song loses it's zest, the outro partially revives the song, but it burns out harshly. Overall it's a nice crazy jam.

- tontosavalas
March 25th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #31

Review of Simply Twisted by the Lushtones
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.6

(Publisher's Note: There are actually two people reviewing under the TS insignia. This is my partner in crime and his debut review. From this point forward, I can't be bothered to differentiate.)

Something

Starts off sounding a little like "Something" by the Beatles, then the lyrics start and it reminds me of Neil Young, at about 1:30 in it becomes the song that it is...a straightforward rocker. Sounds tight throughout, although you might want to work on mic placement for the cymbals. The vocals seem a little out of place at the beginning, but fit in nicely once the song gets going. Overall a really good song, I especially liked the changes in the first couple of minutes.

- tontosavalas
March 25th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

The Pause that Refreshes

Thus ends my marathon of reviewing. I listened to 30 songs in one day and wrote things about them. Doesn't sound like that difficult of a task- and in truth, it wasn't. But let me tell you something. By the end of this I didn't want to listen to another song again. Ever.

I'm going to imagine that a lot of the songs I reviewed in the latter half of this iron man contest probably suffered unnecesarily. Maybe they weren't as bad as I thought they were at the time. Then again, there's no way I'm going to go back and check. That'd be like stabbing yourself in the toe to find out if stabbing yourself in the toe hurts.

30 reviews in one day is too much, but I wanted a song up and that's the number I had to hit. To all the artists who I tormented with short, nasty reviews... your songs still suck, but I could have been kinder in letting you know.

On to more reviews.

Review #30

Review of Dreamers (Nothing Alone) by Phyllis Heitjan
Genre: Pop 3.9

Three headed pigs with child

This is just pretty. That's it. The instruments are a mess and don't sound like much underneath the vocal track.

The vocal track is fine for the most part and is quite listenable, if uninspired. The chorus of 'don't do nothing' is cliche, obvious, easy and so bland as to fall right out of a listener's head the moment the song stops.

Overall, not a bad song, just not much of one at all.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 9

Review #29

Review of Free (folk rock) by infinity plus 1
Genre: Folk Rock 3.6

Admit it, you had a thing for Judy Jetson.

The lyrics need a lot of work on this one. Don't rhyme fence with defense, it sounds bad to the ear.

This is Jack Johnson- or whatever his name is- clone material and, honestly, I wasn't that interested in him, either.

The vocals are left out in the open more than they can really handle, while the guitar is a bit muted. This song needs a lot more to it than just the git and vocals.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #28

Review of Do a Split by Demented Head
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.6

Ave Maria squat thrusting a platypus

What's that band? Green Jello? They did the three little pigs song. This is a modern, electronic update.

The guitar line is well sampled, um yeah, electronic beats are just so damned mechanical and fast.

The vocals get annoying real fast. I'm completely done with this song in one listen. It's a novelty.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #27

Review of Paradiddle by The Black n Blues
Genre: Experimental Rock 3.2

Diddling in pairs, eh?

Hey, this sounds crazy. I've been waiting to hear something like this. Sounds like it was made by a bunch of stoned guys sitting in a basement with a 4-track. This is a good thing.

It does suffer from the hazards of that situation, though. The vocals come on way too strong in parts- in a teeth clenching kind of way.

Is that mm-waa-waa sound a voice through an effect? Neat sound. And hey, songs about paradiddles get bonus points from me, because I'm not a drummer.

Not a great song, but I'd take this over 84% of radioplay.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #26

Review of i wouldn't know by d side
Genre: Alternative Rock 2.6

...and it's a bunt

The drums sound like they were done by a sequencer. Hell, they might be. The guitar has got that 'this was recorded in a basement' feel to it, which I've always been rather fond of. Not a bad song. It comes together well, and that... odd noise.. that i cannot define is quite interesting.

This is good home 4-track work. The vocals are 90's vintage.

Overall, not bad. Nothing about it particularly grabbed me. Or fondled me.


- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Review #25

Review of Used by Vent band
Genre: Alternative Rock 3.1

I keep forgetting the anti-robot symbol

Man, I wish this band was around in the 80's. I would much rather listen to these guys than, say, Winger.

I mean this is a heavy rock song with some guitar that really starts to thrash. The vocals are good and mean and angry. Kip Winger never sounded this angry, probably because he could get fellated anytime he pleased. Would you be angry?

That said, it's 2005 and I probably won't ever have to hear Winger again.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 10

Review #24

Review of The Villain by Creve Coeur
Genre: Indie Rock 3.3

I'm walking through knee deep mud.

The keys are interesting for a bit, but there's not enough variation in it to remain that way for long.

The scratchy guitar is just fine, as are the vocals. Well, the vocals actually start to tire a bit as the song goes on.

Song changes enough to keep the interest even if none of the different parts actually are (interesting, that it.).

Overall, a decent song.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #23

Review of Daybreak by J-uke
Genre: Indie Rock 3.4

It could use more ukelele

The background lyrics are pleasantly strange on this one. This is definetely a song that stands up and makes itself heard.

A little polka, a little irish drinking music. The lyrics come in like a rough pop/punker. Maybe he's just a little too old to pull of the emo lyric.

The guitar blast at the end is farily standard stuff. Doesn't do much. The background lyrics are it's saving grace, but it's holding on by a thread.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 9

Review #22

Review of Trailer by The Stepchildren
Genre: Rock 2.6

This is just plain mean

You sound like slowed down Judas Priest. I can sing that living after midnight song right over the top of this one.

The back-up singers come in over this slow rocker like a bunch of nearly passed out drunks at a karaoke bar. The lead singer being the designated driver who just goes cuz he likes the karaoke.

This is average sludge bar rock and sounds like it.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #21

Review of Smooth Thang by StalkerNj
Genre: Rock 4.7

and passing right by..

This is a competent song done competently with no real melody to speak of. The funky guitar is not funky.

The singer is nothing special, crooning away like like an 80's hair band guy.

Not too bad unless you listen to it, and then you'd just rather not.


- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 5

Review #20

Review of The Chosen by endeavor
Genre: Rock 4.2

Remember those M.A.S.K. toys? Huh?

This song gets a lot better once it kicks itself up a notch and decides to be a loud song. Thing is, it takes a long time to get there. About half of the song.

Before that it's slow, which it's supposed to be in order to contrast with the fast, heavy part. But man, it's slow, so I feel like I've been listening to it for a long time. And I have. Get to it.

That said, it's a decent song that maybe takes itself a bit too seriously for what it's got going on.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #19

Review of Weekend Full of Weekends by Vanderveen
Genre: Rock 5.0

March on, soldier.

I have no idea what to say about this song. It sounds like something I would hear on the radio. There's no reason this song couldn't be on the radio. Very tight. Has a definite sound. All the pop sensibilities are there, but it's not so formulaic as to be totally forgotten once it's over. The lyrics are pretty good and hooky. This sails like one of those surfboards with sails in the wake of the Green Day Revolution.

And, hehehe, that was the good part. It sounds mucho grande like a lot of other bands that are on the radio and whose names I can't remember. You're racing to the top of the hill in a crowded field.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #18

Review of Nuclear Jam by Porcelain Hand Jive
Genre: Groove Rock 3.6

This, my friends, is valuable feedback.

This is some crazy guitar that was just meant for headphones. Sounds like spiders crawling across the top of my head as it creeps from channel to channel. In a good way!

The vocalist doesn't do much for me personally, but he does sound talented and I can never resist a good call of, "I just wanna get high."

Not crazy about the opening, but the song as a whole holds together really well. These guys are tight and into the groove; that really comes across to me, the listener. I can see these guys on stage, playing and nodding to one another knowingly, like they're in some secret society.

Extra Credit: Guitars, Mood.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #17

Review of Red Head by wigglefinger
Genre: Groove Rock 2.6

2:44 seconds too long

This song sounds a lot like it grooves. It has all the funky sounds. It uses all the right effects. Then it bores the crap out of me.

It all started to go wrong for this song with the repetitious lyrics, but then he started to sing different things and I was relieved. Then the repetition comes back (it's in repetition's nature to come back, you know?) and that was bad.

Very talented musicians playing well. I just don't dig it. My cat is not down.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #16

Review of Job 40:8 by 7th Kind
Genre: Groove Rock 3.0

I swing down below my knees

Wow, this is in the groove rock category? Anyway.

It's nice to have some refreshing swing in my ears. I can't live on a steady diet of it, but hell, sounds good once in a while.

Tight sound, with some walking bass that stops on a dime. Wish I could match the name of the horns to the sounds so I could point to that one horn thats doing the murky thing I like a lot.

The vocalist is blending into the instruments a lot, meaning it doesn't add a lot to the picture, but he isn't taking anything away, either. He could be saying crazy, crazy things because most of the time I can't tell what he's saying Had fun listening to this one.

Extra Credit: Mood.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #15

Review of AA by Black River Circus
Genre: Groove Rock 3.6

Plain peanut butter sandwiches are too sticky.

This song gets my body moving, which is why I put the groove rock in my channelmix.

It doesn't change up much, though, staying tight to the same line for most of the song. With the- is that guitar and keys doing the same thing- guitar and/or keys coming in for flourishes that... aren't so groovy.

Songs got a bit of a dated sound, with the organ contributing to that pretty heavily and everything losing the groove in favor of a... proggish sound.

The vocals are a mixed bag. His voice just doesn't sound big enough to hold it's own with the music, but on occasion he has some touches I like with the la la stuff where he projects more.

Overall, started well then lost ground quickly.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Hindsight

I should have stopped here.

One of the things I originally found off-putting about Garageband.com was the commitment necessary to just try out the place. You really need to have at least one song up before you can see what this place is all about. So, being the crazy bastard that I am, I decided to do what it took to get that song up. In one day. 30 reviews.

Review #14

Review of Is This The End by 3rd String Heroes
Genre: Rock 2.7

(Insert cliche here)

There's nothing terribly wrong with this song. Wait, there is. I find the sound of the vocalist's voice extremely annoying. Annoying enough that it's hard to listen to the rest of the song.

The rest of the song, which sounds decent. Nothing really original, but competent, although the opening guitar does sound a little hesitant.

Not too much more to say about this song. 15 year old girls would have loved it in 1994 and 15 year old boys would say they liked it because they wanted to get the 15 year old girls. I hope that helped you out enormously.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #13

Review of Fallin' Down by appleseed
Genre: Rock 3.8

Radar Love

"I been driving all night, my hands wet on the wheel..."

When writing these reviews, I come across a lot of songs done in styles that I just don't listen to and am highly inclined to stop listening to immediately. Any song done in the Fabulous Thunderbirds bluesy rock style, for example, just turns me off immediately. Not interested.

I can, however, still hear whether or not the musicians are competent, whether they are sticking pretty much to the formula or not, if the band plays well together and I try to review those aspects when I'm faced with songs I'm just not interested in. It's hard, though. Damn hard.

Band sounded like a bunch of good talented guys. Song was put together in a solid, sturdy manner. Drink some beers and make music guys cuz it's a whole lot of fun.


- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 11

Review #12

Review of Shadows by shaggy green carpet
Genre: Alternative Rock 2.9

You rock

This song starts off with a quick and keeps going with a lot energy that keeps me listening to it and it changes. I can't stress enough that changes in a song will keep things interesting for the listener. This band does it well, using spacy sounds to break up the repetetive (not necessarily a bad thing) guitar line that started off the song.

These guys are doing a lot of things right and they've put it all together in a tight, groovy package.

I need to say something bad. Sounds a lot like early Faith No More. But I like that band. And i like this band (or at least this song by this band). Rock on!

Extra Credit: Keyboards, Production, Beat, Most Rocking Track.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 6

Review #11

Review of celestial fungus by psilonauts
Genre: Alternative Rock 3.4

Shploooooo!

Another good one. This is a song that builds. Starts with just the guitar for a good amount of time, then hits you with a cool bouncy rythym.

This song isn't afraid to get a little murky, as well, which really refreshes the palate when you go back to the main line.

The main nit pickery I want to do on this song is the ending. They hit the gas at the end of the song and then just stop. The rest of the song is interesting and well arranged, so put a damn ending on it instead of just stopping and leaving me going, "what? It's over?"

Overall, great song. I really enjoyed listening to it. Pretty original, too. There's a lot of things going right on this song. Put an ending on it. Please.

Extra Credit: Beat, Originality, Most Rocking Track.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 8

Review #10

Review of Screaming At Me by Scott Le Rock
Genre: Indie Rock 2.9

There really was no screaming.

I really liked the gurgly synth in the background.

The production focuses the listener on the vocals, which do their job effectively, but don't really grab me. And when the vocals stop, the instrumentation doesn't come up to fill in. They stay at basically the same level they were at before.

What this song really lacks is a hook. Nothing sticks out, grabs me or shakes me in any way. Everything blended well into the background. Too well.

I really liked the gurgly synth, though.


- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 7

Review #9

Review of As You're Leaving by Tim Segreto
Genre: Indie Rock 3.6

This is the definition of suspense

This song is pretty, but bare and slow. A little too bare for Thom Yo- er, the singer to stretch out his notes, as he does on occasion.

The guitar line I like, but that, too, could use a little more around it. This is more of a mood piece and I was expecting it to continue on this way till the end. It didn't.

At 3:45 (of a 5:12)into the song, it breaks into a more full (and song-like) song, but then it's over.

I felt like I waited through an overlong intro just to get to the interesting part, which then ended before I could get a handle on it.

The song had an interesting sound, but it was like a small present in a big box with lot's of wrapping paper.

Extra Credit: Guitars.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 7

Review #8

Review of Chemical Down by West of Seven
Genre: Rock 3.5

Wanna rock? Then do it.

I get the feeling that this song wants to be heavier than it is, but just when it builds up to the point where it could really make you bang your head, it holds back.

The vocals are good and fit well in the more laid back parts of the song.

The song is well arranged and played, every instrument does it's part with a little panache.

I can't get the comparison to the Dave Matthews band out of my head, though. Not a good thing for this reviewer.

Overall, a pretty good song that isn't quite heavy and isn't quite head-bangin' worthy. A mixed bag.

Extra Credit: Drums.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 7

Review #7

Review of Take It From There by David Camps
Genre: Rock 2.8

I face south by southwest as I listen


The backbone is this song is the groove-ish guitar line. It's light, just short of fluffy, but keeps you into the song.

The vocals are standard slightly scruffy bar room blues that follow the instruments with no deviation.

This song could use some mixin' it up. Once you've heard the first 30 seconds, you've got the song down and it doesn't do anything different.

Overall, the song's got a tight rythym. All the pieces are well done and fit together, but nothing really hooks me or makes it stand out from the crowd.

Extra Credit: Guitars, Best Elevator Song.

- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 7

Review #6

Review of Before I Fade by Shawn Deena
Genre: Rock 2.8

This is why you shouldn't open your front door.

This is some accoustic guitar on speed with slightly echoey (echoed? echoish?) vocal track.

None of which does much for me. It's a pretty standard bluesy rock number. The guitar playing might be a bit too fast and hard for the lyrical content.

The lyrics (which in two listens of the song, it's hard to get a complete grasp on) appear to be about getting shot before you can graduate from high school. The feel of the lyrics don't synch up very well to the feel of the music.

The vocals are well sung, as is the playing and the whole thing has a (intentionally, i think) messy feel to it.


- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 9

Review #5

Review of Hometown Bands by The Resinators
Genre: Rock 3.3

I know what you mean
The main guitar line of this song reminds me of something... can't think of what at the moment.
This is a well put together song. It's got a bit of a southern sound to it. They got a little Creedence in their heads. I have no problem imagining them on stage at some local bar.
The lyrics are a nice, friendly shot at cover-bands. Made me smile.
The end of this song is where it really takes off for me. Good nonsense lyrics and a real country jug band feel with the harmonica.


- tontosavalas
March 24th, 2005

Review Rating: 10